I have written, and am rewriting, a novel called A Man's Man. It involves the son of a gay man who is determined to break up his father's relationship. That, he reasons as only a thirteen year old boy can, will turn his father straight again.
The title was chosen deliberately, as titles always are. But I chose the old-fashioned phrase because it had always been applied to self assured men that other men admire. To be labeled "a man's man" meant he was the ultimate in manliness, which in its turn meant integrity, strength, and an ability to inspire other men to their very best. Every guy wanted to be A Man's Man, or to be his best friend. It was a righteous compliment.
Today, after watching this video, I'm ready to acknowledge Dustin Hoffman as a real woman's woman, for all the same reasons. It took guts to make this video, and sheer bravery to put it out there for one and all to see, especially when there are many who will judge his tears rather than the meaning of his experience.
I had an automatic "well, duh" response, because I have understood this at a very basic societal level since my second day of Kindergarten. But my very next response was almost gleeful. I was surprised beyond belief that ANY man would have figured this out for himself, much less made the knowledge public. The euphoria quickly gave way to appreciation, and a determination to spread his story as widely as I might.
So I'm asking you to pass this entire video on. The clips they're showing on mainstream TV are hugely edited and don't give the entire impact of his personal journey. Don't let the media shape the message. I think it's important that Dustin say it in his own words, and in his own way.
I salute Tootsie/Dustin - a real woman's woman and a real man's man.