The magic of Christmas discovered in May

There's a euphoria burbling in my chest, simmering in the time it's necessary to wait. I find my knee jiggling under the desk, a symptom of an excitement that simply cannot be contained. It leaks out from me in the odd heart skipping a beat, or a sudden catching of breath at the merest passage of thought. 

Something is caught in my throat. It's the balloon of anticipation which has grown around my heart. It's full, threatening to splatter excitement at any moment, but hoping to burst when my dearest wish comes true. My state's legislature is deciding the issue of same sex marriage today. TODAY could/will be the day of jubilation.

It's THAT DAY I've waited for, longed for, ached for, dreamed of, and thought too many times would never get here. It's the day, quite honestly, which will determine much of my future. And it's finally, finally here.

And I feel just like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting to find the miracle in the morning. The miracle that I thought would come, but was never quite sure of because there is that whole naughty/nice clause and I'd worry about a few things. And yet, and Yet, and YET - I believed in the wonder with all my heart and soul, safe in the innocence of inexperienced youth.

It's happened to other people, even people I know. The internet tells stories of places where this particular miracle has happened and the people are joyful. I drift off into visions of happy people gathering to celebrate lives and loves, sanctifying and legalizing their families at last, and then I notice that my knee is jiggling under the desk.


It's THE DAY. Now. Here. In my reality, at last.